The Ones Who Stay

From the very beginning of the AIDS epidemic, I watched friends and neighbors move away from the Bay Area, migrating to other parts of the country as a way to protect themselves from becoming infected, to avoid the heartbreak of what was happening, to escape the constant requests to become part of yet another caregiving circle. When someone confided in me that they were leaving, I’d tell them I understood.

And I did.

Over the years, both through my work in the HIV prevention field, as well as my volunteer organizing work with the Global Radical Faerie gatherings, I’ve had the great privilege of meeting LGBT activists from around the world as I traveled to their countries.

Europe, South America, Africa, Russia, Ukraine, China.

I’ve met those who left their countries of origin and also those who stayed. I see the power of both these decisions, especially since many who migrated were doing so to save their lives.

.

There is great power in migration.

As the lesbian poet Mary Oliver wrote, one leaves:

“Determined to do the only thing you could do, determined to save the only life you could save.”

I also know there is great power in being the ones who stay.

“Where else,” they could ask.

“Where else is my love more needed?”