Ashes
I drove up to Wildwood, a retreat center high in the hills above the Russian River, to attend a writing workshop specifically for AIDS caregivers. The facilitator was really skilled and had great prompts and exercises to help us write about the terrible impact that AIDS was having on every part of our lives.
At the end of the weekend she gave us all journals and encouraged us to use them, which I did as often as I could. On one page I started listing all the places I’d scattered some ashes of friends and clients and colleagues.
1. Rose Garden in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco
2. A friend’s backyard in Bernal Heights
3. In the waves at Ocean Beach
4. Shakespeare Garden in Golden Gate Park
5. In the balcony of the Castro Theatre
6. In Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park
7. Off Golden Gate Bridge
8. Off Land’s End
9. At the base of the windmill in Golden Gate Park
10. On the Memory Trail in Tilden Park in the East Bay
11. Along the Merrie Way Trail (Cruising area near Land’s End)
12. Dance floor at the EndUp, South of Market bar
13. Off a sailboat in San Francisco Bay
14. Off Angel’s Island in San Francisco Bay
15. From the top of Mount Tamalpais
16. Off Julie Andrew’s Point at Wildwood
17. Off the Power Point at Saratoga Springs Retreat Center
18. Into the Yuba River
19. Into Tampa Bay
20. Into the surf at Little Beach, Makena State Park on Maui, Hawaii
21. Into Haleakalā Crater on Maui, Hawaii
22. From the top of the Empire State Building, New York City


Ed, this list captures those dark times as no prose can.
Deep breath. And exhale.